I’ve had a really good couple of days with Henry, even though being on my own is still difficult. I struggle to come up with things to do, and find it even harder to get the motivation to do them. If there’s one thing I’ve learnt since becoming a mum is that parenting doesn’t come naturally to me. But I love my boy more than anything, and I’ve become more entertaining and more cuddly than I ever was before. Hearing his little giggle, and feeling his little hugs are the best things I have ever experienced.
I think I’m being hard on myself. It’s not that I’m not a good mother. I’m not perfect but I give him everything he needs along with buckets of excess love and affection and attention. It’s just that I was never one of these girls who knew they wanted to be a mum. My maternal instinct didn’t really kick during pregnancy either. It was all a blur, so I don’t really remember how I felt. I knew it was my job to protect him, and maybe that was all that was needed, but the intense feeling of love I now get only started after he was born. I look at him now and I just – I don’t even know! I want to squish his little chubby bits and kiss his soft little skin and tickle him and listen to his giggle and look into his big, brown eyes and see the love.
I guess I’m a mum now.
I love when he’s sleeping and I check on him and he’s so peaceful. Or he’s on his front with his bum sticking up in the air. That makes me laugh.
Yesterday, we went for a walk around a garden centre, mainly to buy plant feed but Henry ended up walking around for a good hour and a half. He liked the garden gnomes and kept pointing to their noses. He also was fascinated with the automatic sliding doors. We had lunch there (Henry is officially a toasted teacake fanatic!) before heading over to ELC where I treated Henry to a toy trolley complete with play food. He loves it. He spent the rest of the evening pushing it around the front room.
Today, we had a little play date. His best buddy came over for lunch and messy play. After reading on another mum’s blog about the fun they had with a tuffspot (builder’s cement mixing tray) I decided to make this purchase. We don’t have a garden (I was buying indoor plant feed…) but that shouldn’t mean Henry misses out on making a mess.
So along with his little friend, Henry played with playdough, tried to eat playdough, got caught by mummy eating things we shouldn’t, had a spot of lunch and then got to making a mess.
Fingerpainting. I wonder why they call it fingerpainting when really it should be hand, foot, leg, head and bum painting. And let’s-completely-cover-mummy painting.
Needless to say, the rascals went straight in the bath. Luckily, no carpets were destroyed in the making of this blog post. It’s all good fun though. And they really seemed to enjoy themselves.
I need to do more activities like this with Henry, and I will do now he’s getting to an age where he can.
I love so spending time with him, doing things like this. Before long, he’ll be grown up and I need to make the most of this.
What fun will we get up to tomorrow? Waterplay sounds interesting, and less damaging than paint anyway…