I had my first day back at work yesterday since having Henry. It was really hard to say goodbye in the morning, but once I was there, I had a great day. I missed Henry, of course I did, but when you’re busy it doesn’t feel as long as eight hours plus travel. It feels like two minutes, so it wasn’t as terribly awful as some people had built it up to be. I actually quite enjoyed it. I love my job, which is more than most people can say, and it was nice to have a break. I don’t feel guilty saying it, because after a day at work, I can come home and be a better parent to Henry as I’ve missed him so much. I want to play with him and cuddle him and change his nappy and feed him and do all the things I missed out on doing that day.
My other half did an amazing job being at home on his day off too. Not only did he keep Henry clean, dry, well fed, interested and happy, he also kept the house tidy, managed to take Henry out and even rearranged the furniture to make it more baby-safe. I think I’m marrying a superdad. He’s brilliant. Oh, and he cooked dinner (which was delicious!) and bought ice-cream for dessert. I could really get used to this. Maybe being a working mum isn’t so bad…
Besides, there is nothing better than walking in the door in the evening and seeing your baby playing happily on his daddy’s lap, smiling and laughing. Then he turns when he sees you and gives you the biggest grin in the world. In that moment, it’s perfect.
I wouldn’t change a thing.
Henry was a winter baby. Ever since he was born, I have always been worrying about whether he is warm enough and if he needs an extra blanket or two. Today, for the first time since he was born, I went out without being loaded down by coats, gloves, blankets and hats. It was lovely and sunny: not bad for ‘just about March’ weather. I had bought a little pot of baby suncream (factor 50) to carry in the nappy bag for days out this summer. It was very odd worrying about sunburn rather than temperature.
I can’t wait until the weather allows for trips to the beach and days in the park. Although, with the warmer weather comes spring, and spring means I’m just that little bit closer to that time I have to go back to work. I want to go, for myself and for Henry and our family, but I don’t. It will be good for me to have time to pursue what I want in life. I still want a career and my own funds and a feeling of self-worth. But leaving Henry is going to be so hard. It makes me upset just thinking about it. I will never again have this much time to spend with Henry, and it’s sad. I just have to make the most of it.
On the plus side, a bit of adult conversation will be quite welcome. Also, it will make me appreciate just how much I love spending time with Henry.
He was so well-behaved today. I went for a coffee with friends and pottering around town in the shops. He only moaned a little, towards the end when he got tired. Other than that, he was fantastic. It makes it so much easier to go out when I know he’s going to be good for me. There’s nothing worse than pushing around a pushchair with a screaming baby in it. It’s so stressful when you want to make them comfortable straight away, but you’re in a queue or paying for something. Three-month-olds don’t understand the words ‘hang on a minute’. When hunger strikes…