I’m one of those people who hate photographs of themselves. Sometimes I’ll get an okay-ish one and feel alright to have it floating around on facebook, but normally I’m a camera dodger.
Having a baby may lead you to believe the camera will be firmly fixed on the most lovely looking thing in the room (and I don’t mean my beautiful, new, ivory, lace boots I just bought for a friends wedding) but this is certainly not the case. You hear the dreaded words ‘and one of you all together’ and immediately think ‘one for the private album’. There’s nothing that makes you feel as rotten as looking and feeling like you do when you’ve just had a baby, and then having a camera shoved in your face by a well-meaning relative.
Having said that, I am glad that the occasion is well documented, and I wish I had taken more photos while I was pregnant. I just hope that people don’t decide to post them on the internet before consulting me. It’s like the time I sent a personal text to everyone in my life I felt I wanted to tell at the time when Henry was born. Then it immediately started popping up on facebook, against my wishes. Congratulations poured in from pretty much everyone on my facebook.
I sound ungrateful, but it was our time as a family, and not a time for our ex’s to get back in touch after a horrific break-up to wish us well. But once it’s done, it’s done, and I had to go along with it.
I’m far more open about it now, but I didn’t want my son to turn into gossip. He deserves more than that. I know a couple of the people I told at the beginning did just that and spread the news as if it were cheap and frivilous. I will never tell them personal information again, as long as I live.
You learn a lot after the event. About how there maybe 300 odd friends on your facebook saying ‘I have to come and meet him’ and then they do, perhaps once or twice and then nothing.
I guess they think I’m too busy for friends, when the truth is that everybody needs friends whether you’re busy or not.
I’m lucky though. I still have those few that will always be there for me, who make the effort and will be standing by my side when I say my vows.
And it’s those few, who I truly love.